


Theoretical Closet Exit Strategies

by Pookaseraph



Series: CMUniverse [19]
Category: X-Men: First Class (2011) - Fandom
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Brothers and Sisters - Freeform, Carnegie Mellon, Coming Out, F/M, Family, Family Drama, Fluff, Homophobia, M/M, Pittsburgh, protective little sisters
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-02-22
Updated: 2012-02-22
Packaged: 2017-10-31 13:51:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,909
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/344753
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pookaseraph/pseuds/Pookaseraph
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Erik takes Anya shopping for holiday gifts and they talk about that thing that's been bothering Erik for months.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Theoretical Closet Exit Strategies

Anya had been avoiding Erik for two days, which really wasn't surprising; he'd called her a slut, sent her into the arms of her boyfriend, and generally made an ass of himself. It seemed to be a theme for his life lately, making an ass of himself. He managed to cook and early dinner, feed the kids, and mom got home early as well, leaving the six of them in a slightly too small house.

He found Anya curled up on her bed, going over her course notes.

"You busy?"

She looked up at him, face closed off and dubious. He'd earned that. "No. I was thinking of going out, though." Out to see Tony, likely.

"I need to go to the Waterfront, pick up some things." It was nearing Hanukkah, he needed to get things for the kids, get something for Charles. "Would you come with me?"

Anya sat up and closed her books. "Are you going to be nice?"

He thought about making a blanket promise. "I'll try."

"Good. I need to get something for the holidays for Tony and Charles and the kids." She slid off of bed, neatened her shirt, and then grabbed her purse.

They made it down to Murray relatively quickly and waited for the bus. "I'm... sorry."

Both of them stood at the stop, shivering and waiting, but Anya looked over to him and smiled, Erik grinned back. "What are you sorry for, Erik?" Her voice was singsong and too coy.

"I'm not sorry you're apparently learning teasing and interrogation techniques from Tony." He shoved his hands under his armpits, annoyed. "I shouldn't have said what I did about you and Tony, about your relationship. He's an adult, and..." There was no good, easy way to say what he wanted to and needed to right now. He hugged her shoulder. "You're more of an adult than him."

"Wow, a backhanded compliment and a backhanded insult all in one." She still reached out and hugged him around the waist. "Maybe you'll get this figured out before Wanda starts dating."

"I've got a few years, at least?"

One of the busses came and the two of them loaded up, Erik found himself subconsciously sitting on one of the seats next to the wheelchair seating, staring down at the chairlocks in the floor. He rubbed his foot over one thinking for a moment, wishing that Charles had been there to help him with his thoughts. Anya didn't seem to notice.

They stopped a bit later, stepping out into the Waterfront, and headed towards one of the shops. They talked easily about nothing, upcoming holidays, and plans for the break.

"Tony said the dorms close for three weeks," Anya said, finally. "He and Charles are going to go home to Martha's Vineyard."

"I thought he and Charles live in Westchester and Tony lived on Long Island."

Anya shrugged. "They have a summer home there where he and Charles live when Cain's home."

"I guess I just assumed they wouldn't go to the beach house for winter." He knew about the Martha's Vineyard house, and the mansions they both apparently had.

"Tony said it's better that way." It very likely was. Erik remembered what Charles had said about Cain's abuse and general disdain and he didn't like the idea of his boyfriend spending time in that sort of environment. "He invited me to come."

Erik's throat got a bit tight. Charles had offered nothing of the kind to him.

"I said no, of course; you're going to have to work on campus and mom's going to be busy with the holiday season so it wouldn't even really be a break."

"Oh, liebling, I could have at least gotten you a weekend."

"Nah. We'll go for summer, all five of us."

"Five?"

"Yeah, Wanda and Pietro and Lorna and you and me. Tony asked Charles and he said it was a great idea. Mom would get the house to herself for a week... it would probably be nice for her, Aunt Ethel could come over and they could have them time." Anya nodded happily to herself.

"What if you don't work out?" Erik found himself asking, because he seemed constitutionally incapable of not putting his foot in his mouth at the moment.

"What if we do?" Anya sounded like she thought that was more likely. The two of them ducked into Barnes and Noble. "We were talking about love. He loves me, and I feel the same way. And maybe it's a little bit about me clinging to him because he's the first guy I've dated and I'm the first girl he's dated properly, but I think we could last. He needs someone more grounded."

Erik couldn't deny the two of them had a decent sort of opposites-attract going for them, similar but different. He and Charles were similar. 

He tried not to think about the fact he'd just compared his sister's relationship to his own.

They started browsing the kids’ section for something for Lorna. It was empty of patrons. Erik sat on the floor in front of the kid's books and tried to find something in between 'fuzzy bunny is fuzzy' and full sentenced explorations of the importance of bath time and your teacher being an alien. Apparently he could use books to teach Lorna about homosexual penguins. Nowhere was safe. He looked at the face out display and frowned before snagging it off the shelf.

"Mom would freak out," Anya said, nodding her head towards the book.

"Yeah, she would." Yes, she would. "Would you?"

"Freak out about you getting Lorna a book about gay penguins?" Anya took the book and started to flip through it. "No. It's cute."

Erik looked up and down the aisle of the bookstore; there was no one around, not even a clerk to put away books. He pulled down another book, this one about Egypt that looked way too advanced for a three year old. "I'm gay."

Time froze, or at least slowed down. When he glanced towards Anya he saw her hand hovering, shocked-still over one of the pages of the penguin book. Her face was similarly frozen. Erik looked back to his book and turned a page.

"Really?"

He nodded.

"But you like... dated a million girls."

"Four," he felt the urge to clarify.

Anya fell silent while she seemed to be processing the information. "Gay-gay or bi-gay?"

He took a deep, calming breath, remembering that he'd already forced out the words, this was just clarification. "Gay."

Anya continued to have little else to say, and it was slowly making Erik more and more nervous, until she carefully put the book back and then wrapped her arms around him and squeezed him and kissed his cheek. "Alright!"

Erik pulled her closer. "Are you okay with this, leibling?"

"I mean... I guess it's a little weird?" He flinched. "Not like bad, just I always thought you were really straight and so it's hard to wrap my head around. It's fine, you don't need to worry about me."

"Please don't tell anyone else," he said, finally. "Especially mom."

As much as he was now even more worried, even more tense, and even more strained by the change, he was feeling almost exhilarated. Anya didn't care. She leaned back and gave him a full, bright smile that was completely genuine and happy and not at all tense. She really didn't care; he'd just surprised her. He'd done it, he had. Good. Good. Take that, Gay Everest.

"I won't. Tony won't care, though," Anya insisted. "I mean he's the one who..."

Erik looked over to her, awkward.

"He already knows," Anya realized. "That's why he was all... worried about what I thought about it."

"Yes."

"That's super sweet."

"I think it also had something to do with Charles being bisexual." As much as he liked to think Tony had his best interests at heart, he found it far more likely that Tony wanted to make Anya comfortable with Charles, not Erik.

Anya frowned. "You shouldn't tell me that. What if he didn't want me to know?"

Erik took another long breath and took Anya's hand, which she let him. He jiggled it slightly, twitchy and nervous. "Charles and I are dating."

"For real?"

"Yes."

"Since when?"

"September twenty-third."

A look of intense awkwardness crossed over Anya's face. "We have the same anniversary?!"

"A terrifying realization that the other three of us were already aware of." Erik smiled, and then looked at her, a bit awkward. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you earlier I was just... scared."

"Scared of what I'd think?"

"Some." It was still hard to put into words even though he'd been giving it days of reflection. "Charles is my first boyfriend. He's... the whole thing is the first time I've actually _been gay_ as opposed to thinking I might be."

"He's your gay lab practicum?"

Erik tried very hard to glower at her, but mostly she just grinned at him. "Yes, he's my gay lab practicum just like Tony's your... straight studies course."

"Straight studies is awesome."

"Enh." Erik put his thoughts about four girlfriends into a single syllable.

Anya laughed at him. "Definitely gay. Come on, let's get more books."

They picked up a few books for Lorna before they headed out into the preteen section for something for the twins. Anya was fondling a chemistry set before she turned it over, looked at the price, and blanched.

Erik and Anya ended up over in the gaming section, ogling the latest books from their respective role-playing games.

"Does he give you wheelchair rides?"

He gaped. "Anya!"

Her eyes widened a few moments later and Erik realized she was not being euphemistic and then her eyes were clenched closed. "Eww... eww... Now I know what Tony means about not wanting your brother having sex."

The urge to make her pay for that bubbled up, enough that he could finally feel a touch comfortable and could joke with her. "It's better to do in a wheelchair, actually, helps with his legs and..."

Anya plugged her ears and started to make a loud 'lalala' noise.

Erik waited for her to stop; he decided he'd have to make his parting shot count. "Cock rings."

The face she made was truly spectacular. "Never! Again!"

"You and Tony have been tormenting me for _months_. I think it's only fair I get a few moments to return the favor."

"You are the worst big brother, ever!" She was emphatic, but Erik could hear she didn't mean it in the slightest. "We can talk about it, though. That's fair, right?"

"If you and Tony are having trouble then, yes, you can talk to me about it."

"And if we're happy?"

"You can talk about that, too."

"We're happy." Anya nodded and pulled down a book on bonus feats and skills. "Are you happy? You and Charles."

"We're having a rough patch," Erik answered, honestly.

"Is it your fault?"

"Yup."

Anya's look and matching sigh said she was completely unsurprised by this. "How are you going to make it up to him?"

He settled down on the floor, browsing through a campaign setting and wishing he could pick the book up but it was almost fifty dollars. "Probably sex." That was the root of the issue, after all, or one of them.

"Eww, again." Anya sat down right next to him, though, looking over a PHB3. "Isn't it something you can talk about? That's better than just hiding your issues behind sex."

"How did you get so wise?"

"My boyfriend's a semi-reformed fuckup, he knows a lot about dumb psychological responses, and his baby brother's a psychology major."

"Well... not to be too explicit, the issue _is_ sex."

They both sat there, mulling it over for a bit. "Charles isn't pressuring you, is he? To put out?"

"Why am I having this conversation with you, again?"

She frowned at him. "Because people at school are asking me about this sort of thing now." She shrugged. "I told Tammy I have a boyfriend and now everyone in school knows and some of them are acting like I'm a slut but a lot of girls are just curious how you talk to your boyfriend about not wanting to have sex yet and things."

The words came out in a jumble, so fast that Erik took a few seconds to tease out the meaning of what she'd said. His baby sister was giving sex advice. His mind was well and truly blown. "Charles isn't pressuring me."

"Good. I don't have to decide if I could punch him or not."

"He's been waiting for me to be comfortable with myself, with being gay."

That got an approving nod.

"But I know you and Tony must..." He couldn't say that, not to his sister. Erik helplessly made a hand gesture that he hoped conveyed something like 'get each other off' without saying it; instead he decided it looked more like hand puppets or finger kissing, possibly jazz hands or playing piano. Anya looked completely lost. "Have..." Orgasms... "Fun. Together. And we... don't."

Anya frowned again, obviously trying to grapple with whatever Erik was trying to communicate.

"Mutual naughtiness?" She finally asked.

Erik buried his head in his hands and his throat made a strangled coughing sort of noise. "Yes."

"Ever?!"

"No."

"This cannot go on!" Anya told him, very definitively.

"I know."

"Wait here!" She stood up and left Erik with his Dungeons and Dragons Campaign setting feeling really conflicted about the fact that his sister was apparently dispensing sex advice to high schoolers and generally being way more alright with these things than he was. It wounded something deep in his man-pride. The idea that his little sister was more practical about this was galling, as was the fact that there was no way she'd gotten it from him.

She returned a few moments later, waving a book about sex in wheelchairs.

"Charles already has that one."

She frowned and waved another.

"That one, too."

She offered one last try.

"Nope."

"Your boyfriend is a wheelchair nympho or something."

He very lightly banged his head against his book. "Come on."

They checked out and went back to walking around the shopping center in the cool night air.

"What's the _actual_ problem, Erik?"

"I wish I knew. At least if there was a reason I could deal with it. This is just me being scared."

"But what are you scared of?"

She clearly didn't understand.

"It hurting?"

He went back to hiding his face in his hand, pinching the bridge of his nose. "No."

"Not liking it?"

"No." He brushed his hand down, tugged at the side of his pants. "I'm scared of liking it. I'm scared of being in love with a man. I'm scared of... Charles getting hurt because we love each other. I'm scared of mom hating me or Charles or taking you and the twins and Lorna away from me. I'm scared of what it means to be with Charles, what it really means, the parts that aren't about us being happy together."

"Well, I don't hate you, and mom can't take me away." Anya looped an arm through his, guided him down towards GameStop while she didn't say anything. "I don't think that fear's ever going to go away, though."

"I know."

"But you care about him?"

"I love him. He's incredible."

The two of them went inside and started to pick through the cheap used games; there were thousands of Madden games, not much else.

"You can't just... is this why you've been such an ass lately? I mean, you can be an ass sometimes for no reason, but at least then you'd have a reason for the way you've been acting."

He nodded. "Yeah." There were plenty of reasons, but Erik was starting to get the feeling they all came down to a great deal of sexual repression and his failure to use the very welcoming potential outlet for those energies. Charles would have been... thrilled.

Anya said she prescribed him making out, possibly boysex, and they made their way back to the bus stop, huddling together in the early December chill.

"I think you should ask Tony if you can go to the Vineyard for a weekend over break."

"But you'd... have to stay home while I got to be with my boyfriend."

Erik nodded. "Have fun, I'll... tell mom something."

"That's not a very good lie."

"We'll come up with a good lie. I want you to go, spend some time with him. Just... you know, don't rub Charles' nose in it. He'll be boyfriendless for a couple weeks."

"I won't." She hugged him, tight. "Thank you, Erik... I... thanks. We never really get a lot of time to be by ourselves. You get to totally sneak off and 'get caught up at work' and then 'crash at Charles' or Tony's room'."

"There's just the one rule."

"Don't get pregnant, I know. We won't."

He kissed her forehead, the two of them curled up around each other at the bus stop. "Thank you, liebling. When did you grow up?"

"While you were busy being gay emo over my brother-in-dating."

"I kind of like it," he decided. Not the over emotional part, but the part where his sister seemed to have grown up and maybe gotten a bit wiser than him.

"Me too."

**Author's Note:**

> One more part to go, think they can make it?!


End file.
